Dave Kiffer - Alaskan Poet, Historian, Humorist

  ALONE    (Copyright 2018m by Dave Kiffer)   To some your world is too small, Too circumscribed, too void Of the daily interruptions of life   The clock dons a greater voice, Echoing from wall to wall When there is nothing to mask it   And yet silence is not a plague, When so much has passed before That it continues to rattle onward   Outside there remains the din, The fractious turbulence rising, Like smoke from the book's spine   Heartheld is the knowledge That it can all go away The minute you wish it so

  Column: Humor Potholing Our Way to Down Underville By DAVE KIFFER   May 29, 2018 Tuesday PM Ketchikan, Alaska -  I have been wracking my brain (yes, I have one) for some time now trying to come up with a way that Ketchikan can profit from its most renewable resource, its pot holes. First, I thought that maybe we could change our town motto. I mean, after all it looks like we'll never be able to catch a salmon again in these here parts so maybe "Salmon Capital of the World" is outdated. So I came up with "Ketchikan: Land of Pot holes and Potheads." But that just didn't seem to set the right tone. Then I thought that we could market our streets to car manufacturers as a ready made test track. Especially since our roads are so bad they are more "off road" than "on." But having concept cars busting over the bumps at high speeds with dramatic car commercial music in the background would probably be too much of a hazard with the million plus ...

  Centennial Building Celebrates 40th Birthday By DAVE KIFFER   November 21, 2007 Wednesday AM Ketchikan, Alaska - The Centennial Building has been the home of the Ketchikan Public Library and the Tongass Historical Museum for nearly four decades, yet the building itself and the "urban renewal" project that changed the face of the area near Ketchikan Creek that it was part of nearly didn't happen at all. After Alaska became a state in 1959, the next big statewide celebration was the centennial of 1867 Alaska purchase. Communities all over the state planned commemorations and the federal government even contributed $4.6 million to help the state celebrate. That contribution was controversial in the US House of Representatives with Indiana Republican Congressman Richard Roudebush leading an unsuccessful effort to defeat the appropriation. "Only 100 years ago the United States paid $7.2 million to acquire Alaska from Russia," Roudebush told the Associated Press in ...

  THE TROUBLES (Copyright 2019 by Dave Kiffer) This field is a soft border These sheep lally along Giving it no mind, no heed To the pain that cut the North Away from its beating heart But my old couple is beyond that They would rather talk of uachanta And the future that holds no fear As if their past had been a bad dream That plagued some other family We sit in their stone house Turned toward the heater Our backs growing cold As the hours pass along they talk about The Troubles The words come out of her mouth Lightly over her lips as if she Were discussing ‘the monthly visit’ Not that she ever would do that as a lace shielded lady of that time And that is how he describes it, "that time" but with a Scottish lilt Dangling the word "time" like a question In the way that all words in this borderland Are dangled as if off a Scots man's lips Too many generations have backed, forthed Across the sea past Tory to find work and besides the money, brought back ...

  Column - Commentary: Humor It's a bird, it's a plane, it's megaship!! By DAVE KIFFER   June 05, 2018 Tuesday PM Ketchikan, Alaska -  OMG, a cruise ship blocked out the sun this week! Yeah, yeah, I get that everything blocks out the sun in Our Fair Salmon City. Especially the endless clouds. Norwegian  Bliss Norwegian  Bliss  is one of the largest ships to sail in Alaskan waters making her debue in Ketchikan Monday morning - June 4th. Feature Photo by TERRI JIRSCHELE ©2018 Which reminds me that once upon a time, one of my smarty pants cousins from Seattle said that Ketchikan must be on Venus because it is always covered in clouds. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. At least our atmosphere is not full of sulfuric acid and other modern pollutants like Seattle, I responded, showing off my impeccable grasp of Venusian meteorology. Of course, that was before the atmosphere of Seattle became 97.8 percent cannabis smoke. Oh, did I just say that? But, I digress. Anyway, a ...

  Southeast   Log   9-26-20 Bear killing investigated SKAGWAY - Troopers are investigating an out of season killing of a grizzly bear on the Dyea Flats. They will determine whether the killing was justified to defend life or property. THE SKAGWAY NEWS Kings escapement met HAINES -The Chilkat River king salmon run appears to have met its escapement goal for the second straight year. The goal was at least 1,750 and officials say that more than 3,000 kings were counted in the river. THE CHILKAT VALLEY NEWS Murphy runs 50 M for charity JUNEAU - Brian Murphy recently completed a 50-mile run in Juneau in a little more than nine hours. The run was a fundraiser for Juneau Mountain Rescue. During the run Murphy listened to music suggested by the people who sponsored him. He said he will happily do it again, but next time he's going to listen to music he actually likes. THE JUNEAU EMPIRE Park remains investigated PRINCE RUPERT - The RCMP is continuing the investigation over human r...

  CLYDE BARROW’S SAX (C0pyright 2019, by Dave Kiffer) Everything is a tool, they say, Like a gun doesn't do the killing, It is just a trigger to be pulled Still, this is what they found in the trunk, It was about the only thing sans bullet holes, And now there it was, plain as day, on EBAY It came with a certificate by the family Of one of the Texas cops who was there That humid day in backwoods Louisiana Seems the pursuers kept everything After the bodies were hauled away It was a Ford full of weapons, and this, A 1928 Buescher C Melody sax Good condition, some tarnish Needs new pads like all old horns Just a few tweaks to make it playable, According to the EBAY posting, But would you really make them? The more you remove, the less Of the notoriety remains, and a Normal C Melody sax is worthless It was never a good horn, stuffy, Poorly in tune, a novelty mostly Sold to non-musicians back in the day Which is how we would think Of Clyde Barrow, an amateur in most Ways, e...